You Are Not Alone
For every alcoholic, at least five other people are directly affected. Spouses, children, and parents often develop "codependency"—a pattern of behavior where they lose their own identity trying to save the addict. Al-Anon is the fellowship designed to help these family members.
The Three C's
This simple mantra changes lives:
- You didn't CAUSE it: No matter what they say, you cannot love someone into addiction.
- You can't CONTROL it: Hiding keys, pouring out bottles, and tracking phones does not work.
- You can't CURE it: It is a chronic disease that requires professional treatment.
Detaching with Love
This is the hardest lesson. It means letting the addict face the consequences of their actions. It is not cruelty; it is the only thing that allows them to hit "rock bottom," which is often the catalyst for change. Al-Anon meetings in the Chino Valley (often held at the same time as AA meetings) provide a safe place to learn how to set boundaries.
Resources for Children
Alateen is specifically for teenagers affected by a parent's drinking. Growing up in an alcoholic home causes "ACEs" (Adverse Childhood Experiences). Connecting with other teens breaks the silence and shame. Check local listings in Riverside for Alateen meetings.